Hope
by teishamarie
Summary: Jasper has been lonely and fighting for years in search of his own humanity. He'd never thought he would find it in a diner on the outskirts of town.


A/N: _It's been 26 days since my last post on here. How bloody sad is that!  
Well, I've got something now. Am I forgiven?  
My first draft was sad, but then I made it happy, coz God knows I want to feel like that now . . .  
Anyhoo, I own shit all, blah blah blah. Read. Enjoy. Review!_

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I caught the scent in the air. It was young, full of adrenaline, of fear. I could practically see the scent in the air as I followed.

I caught sight of her; she couldn't be more than thirteen. She was lost, her clothing was thin and tattered, and she was shivering as her bare feet echoed through the desolate streets. Goosebumps were covering her skin as she tried to keep warm. He finger, toes and arms were blue, although I could practically see the warm blood pumping through her veins.

I ghosted up behind her, as I watched the hair on the back of her neck rise on end. Her blood pulsed quicker; I could hear the beats pulse through my ears. The muscles in her neck full of rich blood at the quick pace just there driving me insane.

Within a second I snapped the poor girl around her neck from behind. I could still feel her fear, shuddering through my cold, dead body.

She felt pain. It was only for a second, before she fell into the pool of grasping darkness. As I drank, I didn't feel pity for the girl, I felt envy and rage. I'd much rather have taken her place, I'd rather die than have to be here watching as people were torn down before my eyes, it would have been better than the hell I'm living in now. I felt guilty for killing someone so blameless for my own selfish needs, to fuel the demon that possesses my body whenever he pleases, turns me into the killer I never wanted to be.

Just another being created to kill.

I knew my eyes were now bright as I drank still, though the red I was seeing had nothing to do with the menacing colour of my eyes. I was livid as I let the demon get the better of me.

As I finished, I placed her on the cold ground and stroked her now cold cheek. From her profile I saw her, her eyes were closed and her eyelids purple, her lips were blue and her face was pale, though it was illuminated in the ghastly moonlight. A cold wind ran through the alleyway, blowing her auburn locks around her head.

"I'm sorry. May I be kept in the fiery pits of hell for the rest of eternity, to have you even slightly condone the anguish that I caused you."

I kept her face down the entire time. I couldn't look her in the eye; but I already knew what I would see in her eyes. Innocence. Horror.

Though maybe I should have. God knows I deserve it.

There's not a hope in the world left for me now.

War was a game. A game where to win, you must survive and to survive you must to whatever is necessary. The ambition and greed to live, the lust for survival will drive any man insane to get it. Any morals or values you have are not so much as forgotten, but put in a drawer in the back of your mind, locked and chained then the key swallowed.

I know this because I have experienced it first hand.

I survived. I did what I had to do and for that, I am a monster. The war may be over, but I'm still fighting.

Fighting to rid myself of what I have become. For me resistance has always been difficult. This is no different.

It's been so many years and I'm still fighting the monster that I am.

A storm was rolling in; the darkened sky was red and purple. Angry. I made my way closer to the town, the outskirts only a few miles away.

White lightning struck down from the sky making it's way through the dry air and arid landscape. The thunder bellowing not long after. The sound rang through my ears and as it faded, I heard the screeching of limbs being torn apart and the helpless screams of the innocent sent to a horrid eternity as killing machines. I cringed at the memory of almost a hundred years ago.

As I drew closer, small buildings were now visible and large drops of rain fell silently from the sky.

I wanted to just walk in the rain, let the water rush over my body in the hopes of it washing away the guilt and burden I carry everyday of remembering the pain of all those I killed. But I couldn't draw attention to myself. As the rain got heavier, I picked up the pace and found shelter in a tiny diner. It was void people with the exception of about three and the burning in my throat was only dull.

From the corner of my eye, a young woman, beautiful and graceful began to approach me. I couldn't see any trace of blood and knew she was a vampire. I began to growl, believing that she was going to start a battle. After all, I knew nothing else from vampires. But as I faced the angelic like creature, I felt calm and more at peace with myself than I ever had in my years as a vampire and the look in her eyes was innocent and pure. Much like the little girl, only she was alive. Her eyes darted with wonder and happiness and that's what I felt. It was a feeling of euphoria, I wanted to feel like this forever.

"You've kept me waiting," her voice was like wind chimes, so beautiful. Her statement confused me momentarily, but then I had a memory of my human life. How my father treated my mother, with respect and dignity and that's what the angel deserved.

I bowed my head like a gentleman and apologised.

Her answering smile was gentle and she held out her hand.

I greedily took it, and as soon as I touched her hand, I felt . . . home. That was the only way to describe it.

And for the first time in over a century, I felt hope.

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_A/N: Just to finish up, is there anything you guys want me to write? Feel free to suggest. I do any pairing, any rating, any genre. I am open minded.  
Drop me a review.  
Cheers!_


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